Mom is crazy, but squirrels are evil.

Mom brought up another toy today from the mail person. There was a paper toy inside AND new sheets to play parachute with!!! WOOHOO!!! But then Mom started doing something insane. She has this box with the letters "P S 2" on it and there's this plastic string that attaches it to a big square thing with arrows on it. It lays on the floor and she pushes a couple buttons on the lettered box and then starts jumping and leaping all over this square thing with arrows. I guess maybe it is evil, she doesn't seem to like it very much with all of the jumping and she jumps on it for a long time, like about an hour. It has a zipper on it, so maybe she is putting squirrels inside...because squirrels are evil too. She is so weird though, I don't know why she jumps on the square-squirrel-arrowed thing. There's also upbeat music coming from the "TEA-VEE" thing that Dad likes watching stuff on. Maybe it is to keep her motivated until all of the squirrels are smashed up really good. MAYBE SHE'S MAKING US A PIE!!! A SQUIRREL PIE!!!!!!
Here's a fun site about squirrels:
www.scarysquirrel.org/ religion/heaven/

Squirrel Conspiracy

Mom seems to hate squirrels. She told me that they are EVIL and plotting to get in the house. Well, she doesn't need to worry, because if a squirrel ever got in here, I'd snatch that thing up faster than you can say "feather on a string on a stick!" I like to watch them from the bedroom windows. They climb around in the trees outside and sometimes even come over to my napping window. That freaks me out! They just sit there and stare at me while I'm sleeping. It's kinda scary, because sometimes I wonder if they are conspiring to get in. Several times I've caught them watching Mom and Dad's bedroom from the tree outside the window. They are also always making noise on the roof and they climb around on the neighbor's roof too! I'm not really sure what they're up to, but I'm POSITIVE that those little scavengers are up to no good. I just want to keep my house safe.
I dare them to try to get into my house. Those little punks would become my new catnip toys. Then I could leave Mom and Dad an even better gift than that mouse I left on the couch!!!